Sting Met with Hostility Attempting to Reunite the Police for U.S. Benefit Tour

Grammy Award winning legend Sting announced Thursday that the Police would be reuniting for a benefit tour in many major U.S. cities. The announcement, however, was met with much more hostility than anticipated.

“We are in the process of dismantling our police,” said Minneapolis City Councilman Jeremiah Ellison. “Why would we want to subject ourselves to more of the Police?”

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot said, “If we allow them to come here, they would surely do nothing but nap on our sofas, drink our coffee, and eat our popcorn while the rest of us do all of the hard work.”

Sting made several attempts to assure everyone that the band was not actually in support of the local police, but he was reportedly booed, hit over the head with skateboards, and met with chanting of “Don’t be watching us!”

Despite the hostility, Sting is still determined to do good for those affected the most by the civil unrest. “I only want everyone to know that I hear their S.O.S.” he told reporters.

The band was last seen heading toward Seattle’s Capitol Hill district.


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