Presbyterians, Reformed Baptists, and BLM Protesters Unite to Tear Down Graven Images

An unlikely pairing occurred late last week after BLM activist Shaun King called for the removal of white Jesus stained glass and statues. As backlash rolled in from many evangelical churches around the nation, a small sect of churches holding a strict view of the regulative principle of worship shocked the left, joining in on King’s demand.

“Why stop with white Jesus?” said Jeremiah Middlton, a member of Covenant Reformed Presbyterian Church in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. “Let’s tear down all images of Jesus and help our brothers and sisters better keep the second commandment!”

Tens of radicals donned John Calvin masks and joined forces with BLM activists to assist in the removal of the graven images, careful not to damage actual property and seeking to peacefully remove the images with the eventual consent of the owners.

“I hadn’t realized my own idolatrous behavior,” said Pastor Mark Phillips of First Third Missionary Baptist Church in Beaver Dam, Kentucky. “It breaks my heart to think of how I supported the grievous breaking of the Law for so long.”

BLM protesters have been bewildered at how calm and civil these “2CV Protesters” have been. They have also been bewildered by the fact that none of them have been able to figure out what “2CV” means.